s0o0o excited:)

leaving j0hannesburg later in the aftern0on. Haven't made a reservati0n of plane t0 bl0emf0ntein, yet, h0ping can make a b0oking early in the m0rning later.

i'll see HIM later,the new guy, and i just cant wait whats g0ing t0 happen:) our 1st date ever and he'll be staying in bl0em f0r 2 days. Then, a week with him and friends, whew!. I h0pe everything g0es well.


M0ving t0 pret0ria next week. New life,new j0b,new envir0nment:p
All i kn0w its a g0od start f0r me. . . .yeah!!!.s0 excited!.:D

in da bus...

itz 3am in the m0rning,everyones sleeping and seems like i am just one of 3 or 4 people who are n0t asleep! Going to Johannesburg after 2-3m0nths time and yeah, it would definitely bring s0me g0od old mem0ries. . . .but hey, its n0thing hectic! I AM N0T THAT HURT ANYM0RE! just to clarify:)


Riding the bus with just my shorts on and my black h0odies... listening to music on my fave playlist and bl0gging at the same time. This gurl right here has made it l0ok easier for herself, or at least I'm trying!:)


In the bus right n0w. To0 risky? N0t really. An0ther adventure perhaps? i guess. Time to think things over. . .


What do I have in mind right n0w? A lot of questi0ns:) Questi0ns with obvi0us answers yet n0t so definite... It was like denying the reality of the obvi0us! Sooner or later, i'd fall for an0ther kinda trap. . . But, guess right n0w, it'd be up to me wether i'd let myself get trapped or escape it! That??? I'll have to see for myself! Wether i have learned an0ther less0n or i'm just ab0ut "o0ps, i did it again" by britney spears! Ahahahaha... :D
..and yeah, i am talking about Life in general! Love, happiness, career and so on. . . . which makes LIFE!


Been w0ndering lately:

* When is the right time for me to fall ang get into an0ther relati0nship?
* Should i even bother myself going after it and chase one?
* Go with the flow and take the risks? Or deprive myself with one and get them later?
* Focus on rather much m0re imp0rtant things? Does that mean time to call myself BORING??!

etc,etc. . .


Told ya, the answers would be so obvi0us, but i'm making it much c0mplicated for myself. Or rather admitt it, maybe i aint ready just yet for these drastic changes in my life at the m0ment! "Buho0o. . . change already!.. Get on,gurl!. Forget about the past! Start a new life... How difficult would it be? D0nt think to0 much!".

EASIER SAID THAN D0NE.


Guess what folks? I am trying and doing the best i can. Time will tell??? That, i cant wait to see:))

another phase...

I am so glad I know through myself that I am finally starting to get on with my life. Have been planning to go for a couple of r0adtrips again. I can finally say "F*ck My Ex!" hahaha.. And it starts to feel better sayin' it. Mind my language, but that's just h0w it is... :p he screwed me over bef0re, AND i'm glad i am really starting to forget about him:) The only Richard I kn0w is an ass**** ,hahahaha!. Pardon me but it just feels better saying th0se shits to the one who treated me like shit:)


Anyhow,
Today is the day that I have allowed THIS OTHER GUY to officially ask me out. He's been g0ing at it for 2 m0nths n0w. I did give him friendship 1st and that was it. Told him I am n0t ready just yet for him to date me or see an0ther guy. But it has been alm0st two go0d m0nths and maybe, just maybe, a few dates w0uldn't kill me:)


He's actually g0od at heart. Full of sweet-talks! Which makes me smile and bothers me at the same time. LOL.



All I kn0w, i still deserve to smile, to love and to be loved... Although, I have told HIM to wait for the right time. I still wanna get to kn0w him, go on a few dates with him. . .and he kn0ws -it takes time until I can jump off to an0ther relati0nship again. I d0n't want him to be a reb0und (if he'd be my next bf). I d0n't want my past or anyone else occupying my head and my love. S0unds cheesy,but yeah...
I might have been hurt in the past but I wanna at least be fair to him. I d0n't want to deprive him of the attenti0n he deserves- just because I got scared of my failed relati0nships and getting hurt over again with an0ther c0mmittment. I still want to be able to love him c0mpletely. And right n0w, I might n0t be ready just yet, but c0uld be worthy to give it a try. After all, he said he's willing to wait:)

LIFE RIGHT NOW..

Life right now is okay. I've got friends, I'm with family and I am doing good with studies. Paying my own bills,nobody has to decide for me...which,what or where to go. Life of a singLe chiC and it amuses me everytime. Started not to think of him anymore. Try to think and see life outside the box and I can say I'm starting to move forward with my life again... I don't wanna let myself to get stuck at that crappiness again. And I know life has so much to offer for me now that he's gone:)


Been thinkin' about him recently and the past,but no matter how often, he wouldn't come back to me..so why bother? and if he ever does come back, I don't think I can still accept him anymore!:P


Planning of a trip again out of town, visit my friends and go nature!:)
Moving on with my life again.....


:))

baCk to sQuare onE.....

I have been busy trying to collect myself from shattered pieces. I know it's quite a challenge to get myself back... when I have given my all to a certain person, I've got nothing left for me now that he's gone... So, here I am again, finding myself again. Hopefully when I find it again, its a new tougher and stronger me! Oh, and a lot wiser to0;)

Easier said than done. I have been sounding so lame recently with my blogs and updates in Facebook. Pardon me but I always speak my heart out. Although I am not usually like this. In fact, you can never trace the problems in my eyes because I smile a lot, I fool around, socialize and act funny for the fun of it. I am not a hypocrite, don't get me wrong! I show what's the real me, a happy person. Maybe that is why I am having trouble showing such weakness to other person, I don't want them to see I am breaking down when they thought everything is fine....

Gladly I can post up some blogs and express my real feelings especially when I am hurt. When I am thankful and inspired and just don't have the guts to say so. I maybe writing lotsa craps for some... but, this is pure expression.. nothing more, nothing less...

Anyways, enough about being emotional. This has been an emotional and rocky road for me... but everyone's got their downside of life and ofcoures, like I said, I have been trying to find myself again. I have been communicating with friends, I travel, I socialize... and I am so glad I have so many friends. Like seriously, I've got lots.

But it's true. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO SACRIFICE SOMETHING GOOD, TO GET SOMETHING BETTER.




SOME PIX TAKEN DURING MY TRIP IN EAST LONDON WITH FRIENDS...









I was hoping when I come back in Bloemfontein, I will feel all refreshed and leave all the past behind. To be honest, not everything... but yeah, it helped a lot. Easing my mind out and forget for a while. Yeah, it was a good thing.



. .spending quality time with my crazy bestfriend....
drinking marathon...it was sooo muCh fun sharing crazy conversations!
DAMN, I couldn't stop laughing when they are all around!
true! - LAUGHTER IS BY FAR THE BEST MEDICINE!!!! ^^
....roadtrip was the best idea so far! and I guess I'ma have to do it again...
at least once in a while!;)
East London is so0o0o cool, whatta beautiful view, a real hideout for brokenhearts! joke!!!:P

.....AND THE BEST PART OF THAT TRIP WAS HAVING GOOD FRIENDS AROUND!

I'LL NEVER GET OVER YOU GETTING OVER ME

I hear you're taking the town again
Having a good time
With all your good time friends
I don't think that you think of me
You're on your own now
And I'm alone and free

I know that I should get on with my life
But a life lived without you could never be right


As long as the stars shine down from the heaven
As long as the river runs to the sea
I'll never get over you getting over me

I tried to smile so the hurt won't show
Tell everybody I was glad to see you go
But the tears just won't go away
Loneliness found me looks like it's here to stay

I know that I ought to find someone new
But all I found is my self always thinking of you

As long as the stars shine down from the heaven
As long as the river runs to the sea
I'll never get over you getting over me


Oh no matter what I do
Each nights a life time to live through
I can't go on like this
I need your touch
You're the only one I ever loved

And as long as the stars shine down from the heaven
As long as the river runs to the sea
I'll never get over you, getting over,
I'll never get over you,
I'll never get over you getting over me..

moving on....

So much pain.. so much promises that once again flushed down the drain.... It wasn't the first, yet I could never get used to this feeling.... I know it sounds lame, but I guess I gotta get through all these once again. Maybe I haven't learned that much from my previous experience. Guess I still loved someone with everything and anything I could give and did not spare for myself. If everything happens for a reason, my g0sh! I don't know whats the purpose of all these. I guess I am hurting this much because it is really hard to let go of someone you thought was perfect, your once happiness, your shoulder and thought was my future. I guess the hardest part of letting go was letting go of Best I Ever Had....