..i d0n't kn0w what t0 feel anym0re. i am crying like hell right n0w and seems like my heart is breaking int0 pieces and all shattered. I never ch0se t0 have a life like this. But, i am striving hard t0 reach my dreams!
i hate 2 think dat i am starting t0 hate men even m0re. I th0ught i've met a perfect man f0r me. But, anyway...
i d0n't understand pe0ple critisizing me. If pe0ple only knew what my situati0n is. Unf0rtunately, i can't tell each and everyone of them. U think its easy t0 pull out a happy face everytime t0 hide away my pain. They just d0n't kn0w, i've been f0oled, treated like shit, i've g0t n0thing....but h0pe.
i hate t0 think i am s0 helpless. But, i just f0rce myself t0 believe i will get there by hanging on a str0ng grip, out of n0thing!
..i can ch0ose t0 be miserable only if i want t0. I can abuse myself unlimitedly! Think ab0ut my h0rrible life and get dr0wned with self-pity all the time. And thr0ugh th0se happy faces i've been pulling out, i am being stere0typed with n0 sense of resp0nsibility.
its hard t0 abs0rb it all when y0u are trying t0 reach out f0r a little bit of help, but s0me pe0ple think u are just depending. When i only have little s0urces, and s0me think i am just irresp0nsible..
When i want to have s0me fun and f0rget ab0ut my pr0blems f0r a while, while s0me pe0ple think i am t0o abusive!
i am n0t all th0se. I am just a n0rmal pers0n trying to get out of emptiness for a little bit of happiness:'(
if i c0uld only ch0ose da right settings in life, if only i have en0ugh, if only i am n0t trying t0o hard.... i w0uldn't wish t0 be in this situati0n! But th0se were just IF's,and i want t0 change them myself..but guess,i am still immature en0ugh. S0rry, i am just human myself, wh0 d0esn't wanna be l0nely at all times... :(
i wish i c0uld just give up through this j0urney i am having. But, i have t0 walk,run al0ng,cry,smile,try,fall,rise,deal with it.... I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY.
...and i am s0 hurt right n0w.
..my j0urney never st0ps in here. T0m0rr0w, i am m0ving out....n0where else t0 g0,but..c0me what may!,all i kn0w,my heart is l0sing its beat..,h0w c0uld s0me pe0ple be s0 cruel of depriving a simple happiness by judging my wh0le being.....
..bring me t0 life.
T_T
To Lee,
From the moment I saw you, you caught my attention. I knew deep inside that it was really something special. And I gotta know what that feeling was....
You got me speechless when you first held my hand.
I thought of forever the first time we kissed under the rain....
And when you told me you love me for the very first time, it became the perfect moment in my life.
I never really realized that I have loved you from the very first time I laid my eyes on you...........^^,)
And I am so grateful we are still together since the day we met,
...................and will always be together.
From the roughest journey to the smoothest road we'll ever face and will ever be in in this relationship, for I can conquer the rocky roads as long as I am with you.
I LOVE YOU.
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