Leaving bl0emf0ntein early in the m0rning t0m0rrow,yet I d0n't feel sleepy. It's been weeks n0w that I d0n't get pr0per sleep since the break-up. I would do all the chores or anything I needed to do, but my mind is still with him... and I just don't know how to focus.
I would think if maybe he's thinkin' of me the way I'm thinkin' of him. Hoping someday we'll see each other again.. and we could still fix what has been broken out of a beautiful relationship. But through all those thinkings, I wanna breakdown. How can I have so much hope over someone who's willing to let go? It hurts so much, I am in denial. And the fact that I am lying to myself, that all these can't be true.....
I am at this stage where I pretend I am alright, when I know I am not.
Where I smile but I fall apart.
It just hurts so much... it cut me too deep. And I still don't wanna accept the fact that what happened once has been repeated. And what hurts the most is by getting hurt over someone totally unexpected. He was the last person I could ever think of who would ever hurt me like this. He was the least I could ever think of, but hurt me the worst......
There is someone out there, and he's been making time for me. I don't know but.. he makes me happy everytime I talk to him. But that's just it. I am still scared. And I don't know wether I am depriving myself of freedom or happiness. All I know I am depriving myself of getting hurt again.... in the best way I know...
all that I can.
To Lee,
From the moment I saw you, you caught my attention. I knew deep inside that it was really something special. And I gotta know what that feeling was....
You got me speechless when you first held my hand.
I thought of forever the first time we kissed under the rain....
And when you told me you love me for the very first time, it became the perfect moment in my life.
I never really realized that I have loved you from the very first time I laid my eyes on you...........^^,)
And I am so grateful we are still together since the day we met,
...................and will always be together.
From the roughest journey to the smoothest road we'll ever face and will ever be in in this relationship, for I can conquer the rocky roads as long as I am with you.
I LOVE YOU.
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